Two-Stepping Biker Clowns at Gay Disneyland

5 - 7 October 2012. Filed under category Personal.

I try to avoid the “I’ve had a good time!” kind of blog post because, frankly, why would you care. But sometimes a weekend comes around that is so stuffed with awesome that I have to share it!

Biker Steve

My wicked weekend started when I arrived in Los Angeles to visit a couple of friends from Burning Man, Steven and Bryan. On the Friday, Steve took me on a motorcycle ride along the stunning canyons that line the landscape outside Los Angeles like the crow’s feet of a fading Hollywood star.

As I straddled the leather and chrome of the motorcycle, arms hugging the muscled body of biker Steve, with the sun on my arms, the wind in my face and Metallica competing with the roaring of the engine in my ears, I was a very happy lad! But best of all was the majestic views of the deep canyons. At one point, a large eagle took flight as we drove past and it swooped right over our heads with heavy beats of its mighty wings only a few meters away.

Gay Disneyland

I went to Disneyland on Saturday. Disneyland is always a bit gay, but on the first weekend of October, it becomes super-gay as stampeding hordes of homosexuals descend on the park like a swarm of locusts, all wearing red t-shirts. You occasionally see a straight dad with an unfortunate choice of red apparel either surrounding himself with his wife and kids like some kind of shield or ‘accidentally’ scolding himself with hot coffee so he can buy a replacement shirt.

This was my first visit to Disneyland, and I had a wonderful time. I’ve been to amusement parks with better rides, sure, but no other park creates a better atmosphere of fun and magic than Disneyland. Like it or not, Disneyland owns our childhood and everywhere you look you see characters from the cartoons we all know and love. Your heart truly has to be a lump of rock if it doesn’t melt at the sight of three Disney security guards crowbar a little girl, dressed as Cinderella, away from Mickey Mouse who she clings to with a viselike grip, her face a perfect expression of unadulterated childhood joy.

Here is some practical information for those planning a trip to Disneyland.

Sexy Charity Clowns

On Saturday, I worked behind the bar of a charity fundraising brunch wearing nothing but boots, a jockstrap, suspenders and a clown face. The fundraiser was organized by the Payasos, a group of sexy gay Latinos who wear clown make-up and raise money for charities. This event was in aid of the AIDS Walk.

I had a wicked good time working the event. I served mimosas and other drinks, and helped myself to a few shots along the way too. (I’m a much nicer bartender when drunk.) My chit-chat with the guests earned me quite a bit of tip-money which of course went straight to the charity. But best of all was to get to know the Payasos better. I’ve admired their work on Facebook since they started, and it was a pleasure and an honour to help them out. I made some great new friends and hope to see them whenever I pass through Los Angeles.

Country-Western Dancing

To round off a great weekend, I left the Payasos (drunk & merry) and went straight to Rawhide, a new gay county western night organized by my friend Rick who also DJ’d the gig. I used to hate country music, but since I learned how to two-step, I can’t seem to get enough of it! Maybe I’m just a sucker for a big burly man swirling me about a dance floor. The only bad thing about the night was the piece of charcoal the man in charge of the BBQ thought was a sausage. Much love to Rick for dashing in and out of the DJ booth to dance with me!


What is your favourite ride at Disneyland?

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  1. Poppasmurf63 says:

    Well now that you know how to two step, you have to stop by The Round Up Saloon in Dallas TX. They is plenty of burly CowPoke types that would love to give you a twirl, on the dance floor ;o)

  2. Crys Klier-Hoffman says:

    Man, you had me at the line comparing the canyons to “crow’s feet of a fading Hollywood star.” And then, Ca. where I long to be again, Metallica, and a kiss to boot.
    I adore Disneyland,even if it is over run with Mickey Mouse sweatshirts, mugs, pens and other “I don’t need it but I REALLY want it” stuff. I can’t wipe the silly grin off my face the entire time I am there.
    You can be my bartender anytime. Charity or no.
    Today has been one of those really bad ones. The 10th. is racing to hit me in the heart and soul. I needed exactly what you gave me. A smile and an actual out loud laugh.
    Thanks, Gustav

  3. J. says:

    I hope you stopped in the gift shop after any major ride, like The Tower of Terror, to look at the high-speed pictures taken after a major drop or spin. The look of terror or joy on your face and those of your companions in these pictures is priceless.

  4. PDragon says:

    You found your calling, you clown! 😛

    I’ve never seen such a concentration of topless male clowns in my life they must all gravitate to that spot on earth. You know what they say: big shoes…. probably a clown.

    Please don’t start doing childrens parties!

  5. Imogen says:

    ‘get some good riding done while the CUES are short’

    I’m sure you write these things just to force me to post. Either that or you’re still getting your chandeliers and your candelarbra mixed up! 😉 xxx

    1. Gustav, the Modern Nomad says:

      Trying to swing from a candelabra is a recipe for disaster. Thanks for the correction.

  6. Matt says:

    The most Cutest Clown in all the world! i miss u.
    Your favourite Bartender.

  7. Jon says:

    A few years ago Disney was barring cool bands like Cannibal Corpse from playing in its venues. Now it lets the gays takeover? What is the world coming to when we can’t rely on closed minded idiot censorship.

    1. Allan says:

      I am not sure how they could ‘censor’ the gays; they were just there along with the non-gays!

      1. Gustav, the Modern Nomad says:

        Allan, free yourself from the homo-normative viewpoint. We can’t refer to the breeders as non-gays. They can’t help it and might take offence.

        1. Steven says:

          Ha ha! Never heard that term before. Maybe us straights need to organize ‘Breeder Pride’.

          1. PDragon says:

            We’re great, we’re straight, get used to it!

  8. Allan says:

    I have never been to Disneyland but if I were there I think my would-be favourite ride is in your pictures!

  9. jtholemann says:

    Hey Gustav, would have loved to go two stepping with you and the gang.. had a great time on the bike trip with you. next time you need to come to Palm Springs and have us take you up 74 or to pioneer town… great article.. and thanks…

  10. DanRadigan says:

    Hey Gustav-

    You’ll have to come up to Northern California for the other experience on a motorcycle! We’ve got it good up here. There is nothing like riding across the Golden Gate on a two wheeler. Nice post :).

What is your favourite ride at Disneyland?

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